understanding others

Posted: January 1, 2009 in thriving
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Jan. 2009 017

We had a party recently for our friends with young children. We ate cheese enchiladas, carnitas,  salad, pizza, chips and salsa,  strawberries and brownies. We played a backyard game with giant washers and then came inside and played  bunko.

One little girl, a preschooler, Samantha,  brought her crown. She was the princess of the party. After dinner, Samantha’s face was covered with strawberry juice and pizza,  but she had her crown. Ah, to wear strawberries and pizza on your face,   to wear a crown on your head and to be the princess of the party. 

 At the end of the evening, her father carried her out of the house, sucking her thumb and carrying her crown. Thumb sucking, strawberry stuffing, tierra wearing, threshold crossing through the air — it doesn’t get any better than this. 

We all long for just this — a fun, happy, loving tasty,  royal sociality.  Don’t miss it.



We are different. I’ve been watching people’s walk lately. We walk differently.  As for posture, there are the uprights, the slumpers and the head hangers.  Some lead with their bellies, some with their chests, some with there knees, some with their feet.  As for the feet, there are the striders, the foot draggers, the floppers (they throw their feet out as if trying to unhinge  their toes),  and the shufflers. When it comes to gait we find the amblers,   the marchers and the speed walkers. Look at attitude and you find the purposeful striders,  the aimless wanderers,  the look-at-me walkers and the lost.

The combinations are amazing. Today I saw an upright, striding, purposeful marcher.  I also witnessed a slumping, stumach-leading, foot-flopping wanderer.  And then there was the upright, flopper.

Where do we get our walk? From our parents, our personalities, our moods, our bone structure? Whatever the case we are different in ways we  sometimes don’t notice or analyze. Want to know people more, then notice their uniqueness more?

Marlyn Monroe Gets Loved


Elton John’s Candle In The Wind was playing on the car CD player. There was that poignant, this-is-life feeling in the car.  I asked my daughter if she knew who the song was about. She did, Marilyn Monroe.

For a person disabled, for a mind robbed of the power to read,  my daughter knows a lot. 

I told her that Marilyn had been married to Joe DiMaggio and Arthur Miller, that she had other relationships, but that they didn’t work out that well. I finished with the comment that she probably committed suicide.

“Why would she do that?” my daughter asked. I thought a moment, not sure what to say, then ventured, “Well, I guess she may have felt like nobody really loved her.”

My daughter paused, then said, “Dad, I would have loved her.”

Ah, if only the world had more of this disability in it, the disablity that loves.


It feels good to be in sync, with the band, the family, the people you love. We should all try to be in sync with the people around us. But it isn’t always possible. To have beliefs, to hold to truth, to stand for something is to be out of sync with someone. To be unique is to be a bit out of sync with everyone.

Relax. Be secure in who you are, who God has made you to be. You don’t have to have the approval or affirmation of everyone. No one does. Freedom is not worrying about what others think. Peace is being at peace with yourself no matter whether you are lined up with the status quo or not.

The ultimate is to be in sync with God. Think about how to do that.

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