Posts Tagged ‘fixing jealousy’

Jealousy —  it is the reaction no one admits but everyone has. It is like an old, ugly piece of clothing that we refuse to throw away. We keep it at the back of our closet. A few of us have tossed it under the bed. It is still there.

I lost a friendship once — jealousy. I myself once ran over the top of another person. My steamroller? It came thundering out of my own ugly jealousy. It feels shameful to admit this.

A young woman told me last week that one of her bridesmaids was throwing a fit about the dress that she was being asked to wear to the wedding. We talked about where the girl is at in life, what she doesn’t have that she wants to have. Her little hissy fit? It is about more than the dress.

I asked a friend recently,  “What do you think the cure for jealousy is?” I expected a platitude about humility, but she surprised me by saying, “Success.”

The cure for jealousy is success.

When we get to attending to what we want to do, what we need to do, with working out our happy hopes and exciting dreams, we will be too focused on our work to be jealous. True, but I think the curative doesn’t not merely lie within the distraction of focus, although that helps, it also lies within the abandoning of comparisons.

Someone will always be more favored, prettier, more powerful, wealthier,  smarter — no matter how much we succeed. We must refuse the comparison.

We must because we are not them, we are us, and we are where we are at, and we are who we are, and we will do well to  make the most of that, with no furtive glances — tinged with enviafication — to either side.